1/2 Star:
Why did I go and see this movie? What was I expecting? For whatever stupid reason I thought this may be a fun horror movie. I love horror movies. I love the ones that disturb me ("The Last House on the Left," "The Devil's Rejects"). I love slasher, serial killer, paranormal and even horror movies involving religion. My favorites are the realistic ones, but I love them all from "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "The Exorcist" to "Cabin Fever" and "Feast." Wes Craven, Sam Raimi, Rob Zombie, Eli Roth etc etc, I love them all.
As I'm entering the theater I'm expecting a silly gore fest that's a blast to watch, a movie that makes fun of the typical horror situations. Boy was I wrong. There were moments that were fun to watch, especially early on. I should clarify; there was a moment that was fun to watch. It involved an extended nude scene in 3D. I'm not just saying that because I'm perverted. It really was a funny scene. I thought this movie was going to be everything I thought it was going to be, but it went downhill from there.
It's just stupid. It's not really all that fun, it's kind of boring. I've seen this story a million times before. The problem with this story is the whodunit? element. That's all this movie is. Who's the killer, the husband, the ex-boyfriend or one of the other cops? The reason why I enjoy the "Friday the 13th" movies is because Jason is the killer. They're not trying to make good movies; they're just making fun movies. The filmmakers of "My Bloody Valentine 3D" couldn't decide if they wanted to make a good horror movie or a fun one, so they tried to do both and as far as I'm concerned fell flat on their faces.
The other question is if the 3D helps it out on any level. Not really. I mean if you've never seen something in 3D before then a pick ax or a bullet flying at your face might be exciting, but in all honesty there just wasn't enough of that. They definitely could have done better.
How many ways can I say I dislike this movie? "My Bloody Valentine" is a remake of a film of the same name that came out in 1981. I've never seen the original; at least I don't think I have. I'm sick of remakes to begin with. While I enjoyed the remakes of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Halloween," the originals are such classics that it is impossible to top. Later this spring we have a remake of "The Last House on the Left" and "Friday the 13th" coming out. I'm excited about "Friday the 13th," but dreading "The Last House on the Left." I'm watching the original as I write this review. I would stay away from "My Bloody Valentine," but if you absolutely must see it, make sure you're seeing a 3D screening.
BYLINE:
Bob Zerull is a frequent movie and concert goer who talks about his ventures to arenas and theaters more than any person should be allowed to do. Now, he puts them down on paper. Email him your thoughts at: bzerull19@gmail.com.
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