“The art of the Post-It giraffe.”

By Bry Schulz

It’s finally time for summer! Who isn’t happy about that? Albinos maybe? Anyway, summer brings along with it an array of fun stuff to do. Unless of course you’re stuck indoors, which lets face it, most of us working stiffs are. But admitting you’re not really working while facing your computer monitor is the first step to… something. Hey, you’re reading this article, aren’t you Mr. Unproductive?



In celebration of our most basic summer right – laziness – I’ve come up with a few of the best ways to kill time at the office this summer.

There’s an art to screwing off or dicking around, whichever you prefer. Most of us have a few screens open on our computers. Not all of them pertain to the j.o.b. And why should they? You’ve got to take breaks right? Heck, Paula over there gets to go out for a smoke break every hour. Why don’t you take a bejeweled break every hour too? This takes us to our first method of summer laziness.

Oh Bejeweled! How I love thee, let me count the ways. Bejeweled is a game much like Tetris, highly addictive and extremely rudimentary. Thinking is optional in this game. You can find it on Yahoo games or if you’ve got Facebook, it's there too. The gist is to remove as many jewels as possible in a given amount of time.

Make sure you play Bejeweled with the volume on! You don’t want to miss the bazaar-o computer voice that congratulates you when you make good moves. “Good” and “Excellent” are oddly sensual coming from a computer monitor. But maybe this is bad advice. Play the game, but low on the volume, because you don’t want to get the boss suspicious. You’ll no doubt become so addicted to this game you’ll start seeing jewels when you close your eyes. I’m so obsessed that recently when looking at my mother-in-law I saw jewels on her face.



Also on the list of summer indoor playthings is a fun web site called www.imdb.com. Think you know everything you want to know about your favorite movie or actor? I doubt it. For example, did you know that Jessica Alba has lots of talent in her family? “Her second cousin is skateboarding legend Steve "Salba" Alba.” Seriously, that’s the kind of information you can store away for a later date. Like binge drinking with your younger sister and hoping to wow her friends.

I had to recruit a little help for this next one – various iPhone apps. I am not lucky enough (lucky = rich) to own one myself but I know plenty of folks are. I enlisted the help of my iPhone user friend and here’s what she recommended for apps on the holy grail of all gadgets - the FML app.

This is a version of the FML website. If you’re not familiar you should GET familiar. Fmylife.com is a fabulous way to make yourself feel better. She also suggested Gaia, which is a game similar to Bejeweled! Glorious! And if you’re into celeb gossip there’s always the TMZ and E! apps to fulfill all of your needs there.

And my last suggestion for helping yourself enjoy your pitiful time indoors at work is to make something! That’s right get crafty. I mean when you think about it you’re surrounded by craft making tools. You’ve certainly got tape. I’m sure you’ve got colored paper (Post-Its), you’ve got markers (Sharpie), you’ve got scissors (don’t hurt yourself), and maybe even glue depending on your profession. So craft it up.

I got the idea for a giraffe. Made entirely out of tape, Post-Its, and paper clips, artfully decorated with my Sharpie pen.

The idea here is simple: make the most of your time. It’s hell sitting inside watching the summer sizzle right outside your window. It’s like it’s beckoning you to come out and play. And who says you can’t stick it to the man for sticking you indoors? No one. Well, maybe a few people, but let’s ignore them. Good luck.

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Bry Schulz is a writer, photographer, and mother who really hates squash. Not necessarily the game but definitely the vegetable.