I’ve never really been an art enthusiast. That was until I spent literally minutes observing and appreciating the hard work of the many talented artists that reside in the world. As I sat there watching, pondering, and examining, I slowly began to understand the fascination people have with art. And then it was over. No, I wasn’t in an art gallery; rather the final car of the train had passed.
A massive display of graffiti seems to highlight every train in the world.
This leads me to believe that gang members, thugs, and overall minor criminals (criminals that do minor crimes, and not criminals under the age of 18), are more than just troubled persons who do wrong for the sake of belonging. Because some of the artwork seen on the sides of trains is very detailed and well completed.
Having said this, I wonder how many great artists are and were former criminals. Bob Ross, the 70s guy with the Afro seen on PBS (the station made possible by people like you), may have been a mastermind when it came to robbing banks. He could have been responsible for some major bank robberies. Of course he would need a pretty big ski mask to cover his enormous hairdo, but that’s something for another column.
If you think about it (and I really want you to really), whenever you see footage from bank robberies on the news, the robbers are quick to spray paint the camera lenses to avoid being seen. This is the first indication of artistry spray painting the camera lenses.
And second, whenever there’s a movie that involves a bank robbery, the criminals always want unmarked bills. They want these bills to be unmarked so they can, later, mark up the bills themselves. That’s why people are always seeing dollars with lettering that reads, “God is good,” and seeing dollars with the president of the United States sporting a pair of sunglasses. This is how they sharpen their trade.
Then, when committing crimes becomes old, they either go on to become famous, like Bob Ross or Peter Max, or they revert back to their stomping grounds, which consists of painting graffiti on trains. They mix company with beginning vandalism extraordinaires, using a train car as a canvas. This is the reason why some trains are painted great, and why some are sloppy. The beginners are still honing their skills. This does not, however, explain to anyone why trains come at the wrong times, such as returning home from work or two minutes after you have held up a bank. “Oh, look. I think that’s Bob Ross. He’s stuck behind the train.”
So, while you’re waiting for that next train to pass by, instead of complaining because you have to wait for 20 minutes or longer, just be thankful and enjoy the art. Because in actuality, you’re getting this artwork for free, when you could be paying an admission fee to listen to some woman give you an explanation that won’t make sense no matter how many times you evaluate it. Her name could possibly be Natasha and she would have an accent, something you will be trying to decipher the entire time she is talking. And then when that gets frustrating, you will become more agitated when the waiter/college student has somehow run out of cheese cubes and Saltines. Now, where the hell is that box of wine?
BYLINE:
Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous."
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