"Don't mess with the Zohan - Seriously." - DVD Review.

By Bob Zerull

2 1/2 Stars:

I've always kind of liked Adam Sandler. "Happy Gilmore," "Billy Madison," "Big Daddy" and "Anger Management" are among my favorites while "Little Nicky" and "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" lack something to me. I think Adam Sandler is a very funny man when he plays it straight. When he starts yelling or just making noises instead of talking I tend to lose interest in the movie, i.e. "Little Nicky."



"Zohan" was written by Sandler, Robert Smigel (creator of Triumph the insult comic dog and the "TV Funhouse" sketches on SNL) and Judd Apatow ("The 40 Year Old Virgin" & "Knocked Up"), so naturally that got me somewhat excited for this movie. To me Judd Apatow has yet to really mess up and I've always found Robert Smigel's skits including "Da Bears" and Triumph great. How could this movie go wrong? I guess it's unfair to say this movie went wrong, because it's not bad, it's just too long. The running time is 117 minutes and it feels like it is well over two hours.

The movie starts out with Sandler, who plays The Zohan, an Israeli counter-terrorist who fakes his own death during a mission going after a Palestinian assassin named The Phantom, played by John Turturro. Zohan fakes his own death to move to America and start his life over as a hair dresser at the Paul Mitchell hair salon in New York City.



Zohan has no hair dressing experience so he is not able to land his dream job at the Paul Mitchell hair salon, but he does eventually hook up with a Palestinian owner of a much smaller salon. At first he's only allowed to clean up after the other hair dressers but as soon as he gets his chance he makes the most of it and then he bangs his old lady customers. Word of mouth begins to spread and Zohan's customer base begins to explode. There are some very funny moments with Zohan in the salon. To me the premise alone is worthy of a laugh.

Eventually The Phantom makes his way over to the United States and runs into Zohan. "Don't Mess With the Zohan" tries to simplify the Israeli-Palestinian issue the way "South Park" successfully simplifies issues, but Zohan has much less success.

*SPOILER*

Mariah Carey plays a pretty big role in resolving the issue. I'm not kidding.

*END SPOILER*

What's Good?

The movie is funny. Sandler does use an accent, but it is nowhere near as annoying as "The Water Boy" or "Little Nicky." The cameos are great, from Rob Schneider as a Palestinian cab driver to Kevin Nealon as a neighborhood watch agent and many more that I'll save for the surprise. Additionally Zohan's giant bulge is great, especially when he addresses the size and why it is so big.

What's Bad?

The movie is 117 minutes and feels longer, which is never a good sign for comedies. The way they play out the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is similar to how they played out the gay marriage issue in "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry," which was weak. Also, I know that naked men usually means funny, but there was just too much of it here.

In the end "Don't Mess With the Zohan" is OK, not good, not bad, just eh. If you think this movie looks great, you'll most likely be disappointed and if you think it looks stupid then you might be surprised. Go ahead and give this movie a chance.



BYLINE:

Bob Zerull is a frequent movie and concert goer who talks about his ventures to arenas and theaters more than any person should be allowed to do. Now, he puts them down on paper. Email him your thoughts at: bzerull19@gmail.com.