“Nicolas Cage needs to make one more movie to cover debt.”

By Jason Tanamor

I can see it now: Nicolas Cage stars in “National Treasure 3: The Search for Money.” Why do I see this? Well, in an article at People.com titled, “Accountant: Nicolas Cage Was 'Compulsive' Spender,” it looks as if the movie star needs money – a lot of it.



According to the article, “While Nicholas Cage is claiming that bad money management is behind his financial collapse, the former accountant who worked with the star claims that it's Cage who is to blame for his own ruin.”

The article goes on to show exactly what Cage bought during his time with money. “According to Levin (Cage’s financial advisor), in 2007 the ‘National Treasure’ star purchased three homes at more than $33 million; 22 cars, including nine Rolls Royces; 12 purchases of expensive jewelry and 47 pieces of artwork.”

Apparently, Cage also spent lots and lots of moolah taking his MC Hammer-like entourage out. You could say he’s too legit to quit – hey hey!



So, the need to make a third installment of the hit movie, “National Treasure” may just be the answer. But what would the plot consist of?

The first one revolved around the Declaration of Independence. The second movie, “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” found its plot around the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. What could possibly top these two plots?

I know.

The United States could invade Iraq in search for a terrorist who attacked the Washington Monument. The country’s President, played by Denzel Washington, could divert the citizens’ attention into thinking the person responsible for the Washington Monument attack is someone other than the actual person. Then, they could play on this tragedy when really they are going after oil, I mean, money.

Coming as soon as possible: “National Treasure: The Search for Oil, I mean, Money.”



BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.