Two days in a row, whadda ya know?!! Just found out I have another "T-ster!" I love finding out that people are reading my shit. It's a great feeling. That, I feel is my future - a writer! Just sit back in my office writing. Retiring from my "stage persona."
If anyone has seen me, you know I'm physical, and that takes a toll on my body. Me, and Katt Williams are going to be some "achy-breaky" brothas in our old age. My kids will be like, "Daddy, why do you have a Carbon Fiber knee?"
"Well Avis (everyone knows that I'm going to name my kids after my favorite corporations), daddy used to do this bit about cougars wearing a young man’s ass out and I used to land on my knee and well, that's why your pops is having trouble walking, now shut up and push daddy up this muthafuckin' ramp!"
"Daddy, you're grumpy!"
"You'd be grumpy too if you had a Carbon Fiber knee, now quit yer bitchin' and get some speed up and let's get up this muthafuckin' ramp, ya pussy."
Anyway, got another reader so I'm happy. And if you're on this don't forget I can be read on Zoiksonline.com.
Anything else? Well, after being in darkness I'm starting to see some light. I'm going to skip the prelims but let's just say that a week ago I literally lay in my bed for hours wondering how the hell I was going to get out of this situation. I couldn't sleep for hours, I was so stressed, well, that and the 12 cups of coffee and 4 gallons of sugar. I mean, trust me, I’m not out of the woods yet, but man I can finally see the sun. This wasn't the case a week ago.
I have a philosophy when times are tough for me. Work, work, work or simply keep choppin' wood. It works kinda, but this has got to stop. I want a Ferrari, a Lamborghini, many motorcycles and a house with a moat. That's right, you heard me, a moat!
If you want to come and see me well, damnit, you're going to have to pay a price. Plus, I've been ripped off many times, so I figure I’ll get a moat. That'll put the KABOSCH on a break in.
"Daddy, why is the TV floating in the water?"
"Because little Wal-Mart, the thief that tried to rip us off found out he couldn’t swim or couldn’t out fight an alligator. Either way, there's a dead muthafucker at the bottom of that moat!”
"Now, let's go so daddy can call his insurance and get another muthafuckin' TV!"
"Daddy, are you grumpy again?"
"You'd be grumpy too if you had a Carbon Fiber knee and your flat screen Plasma HD TV was floating in your moat. Now, say hi to the troll and wheel daddy's ass across the drawbridge."
Have a good day everyone!
BYLINE:
BT is a comedian who travels all across the country to tell the funny to audiences that come out to see his show. Check his website out for show dates (http://www.btrox.com).
0 comments:
Post a Comment