“You always remember your first days of school.”

By Jason Tanamor

Kindergarten was my first opportunity to be away from my parents. It was also a chance to meet other kids in the same situation. I looked at this experience in a positive manner. However, the older kids had the upper hand.



Looking at the children who filled this class, I realized I was the only minority in the room. It never really bothered me, at least it shouldn’t have. I just tried to fit in as best I could.

Then came Nick. Nick was a second grader with the body of a fifth grader. Or maybe I was a kindergartner with the body of a fetus. I wasn’t sure.

Due to the policies of the school, recess was split by grades. During the first recess, mine, all grades from kindergarten to fourth shared the same playground. That’s when Nick took charge.

I honestly believe Nick had insecurity issues. He was the typical bully. I guess when you’re bigger than everyone else, you had that power - the power to influence other children, especially when it came to an undersized, Asian kid.

The other children had no problem with me, but due to the fear of getting a wedgie or a wet Willy from Nick, they followed his every order. They were like a gang, capable of almost anything. Deep down, I always feared I’d walk outside to see my big wheel up on blocks. I never did.

The first order of business for Nick and his followers was to poke fun of the different kids. That meant a handicapped boy, one overweight child, and myself. Of course, Nick had somewhat of a conscience because he never made fun of the handicapped boy. Or maybe secretly Nick was a retard. Rightfully so, whatever the reason. As for the overweight child, he got the crap kicked out of him, repeatedly. With me, though, it was different.



Being an Asian minority, Nick thought it would be clever to make fun of my ethnicity. So, he gave me the name Wong. Apparently, this was the only Asian name he knew. Of all the names, he picked Wong. I have no idea why, and being the size that Nick was, I wasn’t going to ask.

For the entire school year, I was referred to as Wong. The only time I heard the name Jason was when my teacher called on me to answer a problem. Other than that, it was Wong.

Wong, Wong, Wong.

The name spread throughout school. No matter where I was, the hallway, the cafeteria, and even the playground, it was always, “Wong, look over here.”

For a child with a positive outlook, this experience broke down my confidence. I never told anyone, not my parents, teachers, not even my best friend Pete. I just kept it bottled up inside, the entire year.

I never understood why I let something so silly bother me so much. And why I didn’t tell anyone about the situation, I have no idea. But now, being an adult, whenever I look back at my early school days, I realize something. I realize that being one of the few minorities in school, an Asian one at that, the majority of the class was white, while I was Wong.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous."