Something is wrong with the defending National Champions, and his name is Troy Polamalu. The Steelers safety has been out a lot this year, but his presence has never been so keenly felt as it was on Thursday night, when the Steelers were dealt their fifth loss in a row - this one coming from the hapless Cleveland Browns, who have often looked about as coordinated and functional as Lindsay Lohan. Sure, it was a divisional game. Sure, it was a rivalry game. Still, if you told me last year that the Browns were going to lose Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow, and Romeo Crennel, and then beat the invincible Super Bowl Champions, I would have said you were insane. But the Browns edged them by a touchdown, 13-6, and there you have it. It was a game to make this bitter season taste a little better in the Dawg Pound.
Polamalu should have won the Defensive Player of the Year award last season. Not to take anything away from his teammate James Harrison, who did win the award, but the Steelers just aren’t the same when he is off the field. He is a crushing hitter over the middle, blows up sweeps like there’s nothing easier in the world (save for a certain golf star who’s been in the news a bit as of late), and he has great ball skills (sort of like a certain…ah, never mind). The point is, Polamolu is one of the best playing the game, and that defense revolves around him. They follow him. They count on him to change games with one play. Without him there, they lose to the Browns. The same Browns who lost to the Lions. The Detroit Lions.
On the other side of the coin, Josh Cribbs played out of his mind. He’s been called a few things this year, including “the one good player on the Cleveland Browns,” and he showed it off on primetime television. Cribbs had eight carries for 87 yards - every time he ran, it was eleven yards, a first down. To it, he added a 55-yard punt return. The Browns’ offense managed to go backward after that, and get a field goal, so you may as well just give those three points right to Cribbs. In a game where pretty much nothing happened offensively (the Steelers somehow manage to play worse on both sides of the ball with Polamalu out), Cribbs had a combined stat of 198 yards. That’s more than the whole team gets in most games. And some of his domination doesn’t come through in statistics. To read the numbers is one thing. To watch him juke people and pull out of tackles and make something out of nothing because he is the only one doing work, is another thing altogether.
Here’s an amazing stat, if you love the numbers: in the Browns’ two wins - Buffalo and Pittsburgh - their starting quarterback (Derek Anderson and then Brady Quinn) has gone two of seventeen for twenty-three yards and six of nineteen for ninety yards, respectively. No touchdowns. At all. Anderson even threw an interception, just to spice things up. It makes no sense, I know, but maybe if Mangini tells Quinn to throw it away every down, they can win out.
The Rest of the League:
Peyton Manning had a bad day, throwing three interceptions, but the undefeated Colts were still too much for the Denver Broncos. The Colts remain at the top, winning 28-16. The bright spot for Denver was that wide receiver Brandon Marshall was outstanding, setting an NFL record with 21 receptions.
The Chicago Bears played the Packers close, but couldn’t drive down and score to tie the game in the fourth. Cutler tried his best to throw another game-ending interception on fourth down, but the pass was batted away and the Packers held on to win 21-14.
New Orleans survived a close divisional game against Atlanta, 26-23, to stay undefeated. The really amazing thing about it was that Atlanta was without both their top quarterback and their top running back, sidelined with injuries, and they still made a game of it.
Matt Cassel had a minor-meltdown, throwing four picks as the Bills beat the Chiefs by six.
Last week, when Peterson wasn’t that much of a force and the Vikings lost, it looked like the Minnesota-Cincinnati match-up this week would be epic. It wasn’t. Peterson found his game and scored twice as the Vikings smashed the Bengals. The biggest letdown of the game was by far when Chad Ochocinco scored, but didn’t go blow Ragnar the Viking’s horn as he boasted he would on Twitter.
Carolina and Steve Smith came out hot, and probably gave Patriot fans a scare, but New England survived and won 20-10.
Tampa Bay, hunting hard for the number one draft pick, was routed 26-3 by the New York Jets. That pick is looking good, guys. Maybe at least keep it close next time, so the fans can cheer for you right up until the end.
In the hardest game to predict of all time, Miami beat Jacksonville 14-10. It was a hard loss for Jacksonville, as the Wildcard bid is slipping out of their grasp.
Baltimore has been criticized for having a hard time scoring this year. A faltering offense. Then they played the Lions. It was sort of like them playing Notre Dame, except without the Charlie Weis offense. They obliterated Detroit, 48-3.
Houston and Seattle had identical records going into the weekend, and should have played a close, competitive game, but Houston must have been angrier about their season’s letdown. They went off, scoring thirty-four and beating Seattle handily.
The Titans, back when they were 0-6, looked to be just as bad as the St. Louis Rams. Then, today, they smashed the Rams 47-7, proving that the Greatest Show on Turf is for sure over. And not coming back until the Rams can figure out how to pass and play defense.
Gradkowski went out with a knee injury. Russell came in and threw the predictable interception. The Raiders gave up seventeen in the fourth and lost to the Redskins. If Gradkowski can’t come back soon, we can expect them to give up seventeen and throw interceptions in all the coming quarters, not just the fourths.
Dallas scored with 0:02 on the clock, cutting the San Diego lead to three. Tony Romo held up two fingers; he wanted to go for two. No one was sure why. Instead, they kicked the extra point and then tried to get the onside kick, the only hope they had, but they didn’t come up with the ball and San Diego won. Hopefully Tony has figured out by now that going for two wouldn’t have won them the game.
Al Michaels summed up the Giants-Eagles game perfectly when, in the third quarter, after yet another long Jackson touchdown that he walked in backwards, Michaels said: “This is like a street game.” There were flurries of points despite the cold and the wet turf in this shootout at the top of the NFC East, and the Eagles outlasted the Giants to win, 45-38.
Monday Night Preview:
This one isn’t too hard to call. Last week, the Cardinals manhandled the Minnesota Vikings. They gave veteran Brett Favre his worse game of the year, picking him off twice. They looked like the team that fought their way into the Super Bowl last year behind their own veteran and future Hall-of-Famer Kurt Warner. Beanie Wells might not solve all their rushing woes, but he certainly is a help.
This week, they face the San Francisco 49ers. Despite their fast start and the resurgence of Alex Smith (sort of) and their eventual signing of first round draft pick Michael Crabtree, the 49ers aren’t there yet. They’ve won some games. They’ve even looked good. But they just aren’t there. They’ve dropped to 5-7 and the playoffs are out of the picture. I don’t think their defense is going to be able to contain the high-powered attack of Fitzgerald and Boldin. And that Arizona defense has more playmakers on it than people are willing to give them credit for. The spread is Arizona by 3.5, and I think they win by at least that.
BYLINE:
Jonathan Schlosser is a writer and part-time library worker. He has published some short fiction and is working on finding a publisher for his novel. He has a B.A. in Writing, which means that, for a living, he is allowed to put away books at the library. He is also allowed to tell parents to tell their children to be quiet. He lives in Grand Rapids, MI. Email Jonathan at jonathan@zoiksonline.com.
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