Artie Lange, comedian, actor and radio personality, is back in the spotlight with his first ever CD release titled, “Jack and Coke.” If you know anything about the comedian, you’ll know that Lange lives on the edgy side with alcohol and drugs. He also likes to offend people with his material. And although this may not be the life for you, it’s what makes Lange one of the funniest comedians working today.
In “Jack and Coke,” Lange is quick to offend listeners by opening with, “I’m glad Heath Ledger is dead so now I can get more movie roles.” He goes into the homosexual scene in “Brokeback Mountain,” and how Ledger should have warned Gyllenhaal’s character by telling him that he’s gay and going to fuck him. Lange says, “Where are the hot girls in this Western? There are no gay Cowboys except for Tony Romo.” Lange is quick to recant his words for fear of a lawsuit. This, however, leads into a hilarious bit about Romo’s relationship with Jessica Simpson, whom the comedian blames for breaking up the boy band 98 Degrees.
Lange doesn’t let down from here either. He goes on about being a fat cokehead, and keeping on the same note, anti-drug campaigns, saying that his favorite slogan was “hugs are better than drugs.” “Hugs are NOT better than drugs. I never drove four hours to Harlem to get hugs.”
The rest of the CD is a culmination of all things offensive. The comedian goes on about hating Tom Brady because he is a good looking guy and good at sports, to which Lange insists that if you have both of these qualities, you have the best life ever. “How could Brady’s life be better? I can’t see him eating out Gisele Bundchen and a million dollars coming out of her pussy. If only everything valuable came out of there. There’s a Mickey Mantle rookie card in mint condition. And it smells like Gisele Bundchen’s pussy. There’s a Golden Globe award in there. And Gisele says, ‘Leonardo DiCaprio must have left it in there.’”
Just when you think “Jack and Coke” can’t get any funnier and over the top, Lange throws in a bit about Barack Obama beating Hillary Clinton. “I haven’t rooted for a black man to beat a white woman so bad since Dennis Rodman dated Madonna.”
To keep up with the offensive nature, Lange talks about hosting the Academy Awards. If he did, he would want to be edgy. “I’d see Tom Cruise kissing Katie Holmes and ask, “Katie, how’s John Travolta’s dick taste?” Lange indirectly implies what people talk about all the time being that Tom Cruise is a homosexual. “Cruise is jumping up on Oprah’s couch telling her he’s fucking Katie Holmes. That’s not how you act if you’re fucking a hot chick. All I’m saying is, ‘act like you’ve been there before.’”
The CD, which runs almost 80 minutes in length, never lets up. This is the case when Lange goes on about being a gay dude. “I would only get blowjobs from Arab dudes so there would always be a towel to wipe my dick off afterward.” At this time, an Arab guy in the crowd yells out and Lange says, “Are you an Arab dude? I’m joking, I love you. I made a bomb once too – it was called “Dirty Work.””
“Jack and Coke” is not for everyone, especially if you’re easily offended. However, if you’re into the Howard Stern-like material, where Lange got his start, then I would recommend this CD. You never know, it could have come out of Gisele Bundchen’s pussy.
BYLINE:
Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.
2 comments:
A comic who gets laughs by denigrating others is both unoriginal and not very funny.
But it IS quite typical of heterosexual male comedians, so there you go.
Both of the comments above this one were clearly left by uptight people. IT IS A COMEDY CD DUMMIES! The review is right on the mark. He states that it is not for everyone. This means the two gay guys that commented before me
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