"Tiger Woods, Kanye West and David Letterman carry us into 2010."

By Jason Tanamor

With the year 2009 winding down, many surprising (Tiger Woods and David Letterman) and not so surprising (Kanye West) events have hit the entertainment world with a storm. Namely, and most recently, the Tiger Woods’ mediocre-looking mistress scandal. Let’s face it, Tiger’s wife Elin is a lot prettier than any of the mistresses that have allegedly come out.



To honor those who made news in entertainment and want to see their name transcend into 2010, Zoiks! Online has compiled a list of trendy new sayings that can be used in everyday life.

Balloon Boy – If you remember, the balloon boy supposedly was a boy in a big Jiffy Pop looking apparatus that caught national attention for flying around Colorado. What actually happened appeared to be a hoax.

So, the next time there is a hoax, you can say, “Man, that guy tried to balloon boy me out of my money.”



Jay Leno – Leno pretty much got kicked off the “Tonight Show” for Conan O’Brien. Only, instead of O’Brien actually hosting the “Tonight Show,” he hosted “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” at an earlier time and called it the “Tonight Show.”

So, the next time you lose your job for a different, younger person, you can say, “Man, that guy Jay Leno’d me.”



Jon Gosselin – Jon Gosselin has like a million kids. We saw them on TV. He also has a crazy ex-wife. Now they are divorced.

So, the next time you get divorced, you can say, “Man, I just Jon Gosselin’d that bitch.”



Chris Brown – Brown beat the crap out of his then girlfriend, Rihanna. We know he’s a turd.

So, the next time you beat up your girlfriend, you can say, “Man, I just Rihanna’d that bitch. And when I finished Rihanna-ing her, I Jon Gosselin’d her.”



Carrie Prejean – Carrie was Ms. California. She was then runner up for Miss USA. Some people, mainly Perez Hilton, believe she lost Miss USA because she had an “opinion” about homosexuals.

So, the next time you have something to say about homosexuals, you can say, “Man, that homosexual just got Carrie Prejean’d.”



Oprah – Oprah is the biggest TV star ever. Now she’s giving it up. Although she has a long way toward retirement, Oprah believes this is the right decision.

So, the next time you say good-bye, you can say, “Man, that guy all of a sudden Oprah’d us.”



Kanye West – West is crazy. He interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech. For no reason other than he thought Beyonce had the best video.

So, the next time someone interrupts you when you’re talking, you can say, “Man, you just Kanye West’d me.”



David Letterman – Letterman slept with a few of his female staffers. Then he was the victim of an extortion case.

So, the next time someone tries to extort you, you can say, “Man, that guy just David Letterman’d me.”



Tiger Woods – Tiger, apparently likes to chase tail. He proved it when his so-called accident evolved into a mistress hunt that involved the kind of attractive to the “really – no seriously?”

So, the next time you cheat on your spouse, you can say, “Man, I just Tiger Woods’d my wife.”



Chicago Cubs – If you had high expectations for the year but they didn’t pan out like you thought, you can say you Chicago Cubbed it. Don’t worry, this will work the next year as well.



If you have any of your own, post them here in the comments section. Happy New Year and let’s say Oprah to 2009.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.